Does Ella have perspective, or does she just not care?

The worst thing didn't happen today, but the second-worst thing did: Madison got into the play The Little Mermaid from the Missoula Children's Theatre, but Ella didn't.

However, Madison and I were far more crushed than Ella was. Ella was a little disappointed, but she wasn't upset. No tears or anything, far from it, although I don't think Madison and I were far from tears. I had to do a little work to pull Madison away from her guilt over the whole thing. But Ella just seems to have this attitude that she'll do things in her own time, just like Madison, that being in the play was not the end-all and be-all of her existence, she's ok just to watch it. On the other hand, if Madison hadn't gotten in (especially if Ella had) she would be crushed--this is the outcome I most feared. But with Ella, it just seemed to be water off a duck's back. She had exactly the "right" attitude, but one wouldn't normally expect that from a 5-year-old.

Sometimes I rejoice in how easy this child is, sometimes I worry about it. What if Ella never develops a passion for ANYTHING? But then I remind myself she loves to do many things -- dancing, and playing dress-up princesses, for example, but especially dancing -- and the fact that not everything is a swaying to and fro of passion really makes her life just that much easier. In fact, it's often easier for her to learn academic stuff because there's no emotions to get in the way as there is for Madison. Ella has absolutely no fear of failure, she does what she can, and doesn't much mind if she fails. She's not competitive with Madison, she knows she's younger so things come later. She's cool about that. She's the most laid-back kid I know, except if Madison (or I) push her too far--then, she has a short fretting session. And, let's face it, she still has a passion for me. She's wonderfully snuggly and loves to experience things with all her senses, especially touch. Maybe it was the two-and-a-half years of breastfeeding.

I was so afraid that one kid wouldn't get in, and that the other would have to learn the extremely hard lesson of how to be gracious about it. But somehow Ella is just naturally gracious. I almost can't believe it.

This is a fantastic lesson for Madison. She sees how calmly Ella is reacting to not getting chosen, and she'll remember this well. Because, as I reminded them, if they like to do plays, there will be plenty of times where Ella will be picked and Madison won't. (Although the criteria for getting selected for this play were, I believe, the following: 1) that they can follow directions, 2) that they are confident, 3) that they are smiley, 4) that they have a bit of presence, and 5) they are loud. Ella has 1, 2, and 3 for sure, but can't compare with Madison on 4 and 5. She still has that somewhat-quiet baby voice, and I think that's what did her in.)

The week after we get back to Rochester, the MCT will actually be up in Rochester, doing Robin Hood, the same production they did last year here when Madison got in. I had told the girls that they could try out up there, too...but frankly, I think that I'm not going to have them audition. One reason is that the fee for acting in that production is *seven times* what it is down here, and it just doesn't seem worth it. Add to that the fact that the competition is MUCH greater up there just because of the sheer numbers, which would mean that almost certainly Ella wouldn't get in. And it seems just not worth the $ to have Madison just be in it, just to have a repeat of last year's experience. No, I think we'll wait until next year.