At the breakfast table this morning, Ella told me that she sometimes thinks about what things would be like if she didn't exist. And then, she tries to imagine what it would be like if nothing existed, if the universe hadn't existed, if the Big Bang had never happened.
"Sometimes I just imagine it all black," she said. "But, really, when I imagine it, it's all white. It's easier for me to imagine nothing as white."
How did she start thinking about this? I was wondering if it was because of having listened to some conversations with one of David's graduate students, a born-again Christian, who was over for dinner.
But she says it's because of when she plays with her friend Lara. Lara tends to make a big mess, flinging everything about, which I don't allow when they play here...Ella has had to be on Lara's case to make sure she doesn't do it, and she has to clean up after them if there's anything left after Lara leaves. "I sometimes think about what it would be like if I wasn't here...I wouldn't have to clean anything up, then," she said. "But I really do like playing with Lara."
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