Ella is over her "scared" phase

It actually took over a year for Ella to outgrow her "scared" phase.

In January 2008, when she was 6, I took her to a new ballet class where she and the instructor immediately didn't click. She had to leave, she was sobbing.

I thought it was a very temporary case of nerves, but the next week, and the following week, she was really upset during the class and had to manage herself. I took her out permanently after the third week.

What followed was a semester in which she didn't want me to leave her anywhere, at any time, at any class alone, even karate, where she'd been going for over a year. This was very odd because Ella had always been far and away more secure and flexible than Madison in new situations.

Boy, was that one unexpectedly gradual decline in fear; it was only as of THIS January, a year later, that I no longer give thought to whether Ella is going to have a problem if I leave her at a class. I will admit that I cut out two classes for her in the fall semester because I a) didn't want the hassle of having to stay put in the lobby for an hour or an hour and a half and b) I wanted her to have only the classes she loved so that she would stop having the experiences of anxiety entirely.

I had had to decide between using it as a time to teach her to manage her anxiety, versus having her not have it at all, and I chose the latter.

It seems to have been the right choice. She's really secure and happy. I think I could leave her anywhere -- anywhere reasonable, of course -- without the anxiety.

This experience does show how one bad experience can really seize the mind of a child and cause dramatic changes.