Dumb mommy moment

As editor of KOA, I often get invited to opening nights or dress rehearsals of shows so that I can see them in advance and review them for my readers. I don't always have the time to write formal reviews, especially of performances that aren't stellar. I don't have time to write bad reviews!

One group that I've reviewed before is A Magical Journey Through Stages, which is a terrific Broadway-revue type performing group that consists of the very best performers from community theater from around Rochester. I wrote a review in the spring about their Times Square performance.

Last night, I took the girls to see their dress rehearsal for Grease, which opens this weekend. Now, for pity's sake, I was IN Grease in high school. So there is no excuse for the fact that I took them last night, I just simply DIDN'T THINK. If I had thought about it, I might have remembered:

It's about kind of ratty kids who are romanticized as they struggle with growing up.

It's all about peer pressure. ("Do real teenagers act like that, Mommy, or is it just in the show? Is it just in the 50's?")

They smoke and drink on stage (although these kids just held the cigarettes rather than lighting them).

They use the word "crap" and other slang a LOT, plus sometimes make lewd gestures.

Stealing hubcaps and gang fighting is romanticized.

Danny is a bit aggressive in the car at the drive-in movie with Sandy. ("Mommy, what's he trying to get her to do? She already kissed him.")

Rizzo thinks she's pregnant toward the end ("Mommy, what does "knocked up" mean?).

The play (written in the 70s, I think) doesn't in any way come to any good resolution about what kids are supposed to do to sort through the issues that they all encounter. Danny joins the track team, although he leaves it in the end after making a rude gesture to the coach, and comes to treat Sandy a little bit better in front of his friends Toward the end, Sandy throws off her "good little girl" image and her poodle skirts after seeing what Rizzo is going through, sings "Goodbye To Sandra D" and starts dressing like a slut.

So, okay, I screwed up here. What was I thinking, taking them?

Ella is happy to listen to the music, generally follow the story ("how it's hard for teenagers to figure out how to act with each other when they're becoming boyfriend and girlfriend") and see the dancing and the costumes, and, as in all things, without needing to penetrate too deeply. Madison, of course, insists on figuring out *exactly* what is going on at every moment, which made it particularly difficult last night.

I will admit to (temporarily) taking the coward's way out when Madison tugged hard at my arm after the whole "don't tell anyone I think I'm pregnant" scene. "What's going on? What just happened? What's Rizzo singing about? Why is Kinicki upset?" "I'll tell you later," I whispered back. I confess that I was kind of hoping it would fade from her mind during the rest of the play. But as I was driving home, I realized that this can't be the way I deal with things. She's eight, I'm sure I'm smart enough to find some age-appropriate way to describe the things she wants to know. So as a matter of principle, I asked in the car:

"So, ok, anyone have any questions about the show?"

"YES," she said. "What was that, toward the end, before the song Rizzo sang that I didn't understand, before her conversation with Sandy? What was the thing with the secret?"

Sigh.

"Well," I replied. "Rizzo thought she might be pregnant. And she was really upset about that."

"Why?"

"Because she's a teenage girl, and it's bad for a teenage girl to be pregnant. People aren't old enough to be parents when they're teenagers. So she was very upset."

"Why was it a secret?"

"When you're really upset and you want to talk to one person, it can help. But you don't necessarily want everyone to know that you're upset, so you ask that person not to tell others. But her friend went and did that right away so everyone knew, and that made Rizzo even more upset." (Oh please oh please don't have her ask about why Kinicki was mad, and what Rizzo's comment, 'Don't worry, you don't know the guy' meant.) (She didn't.)

So...I should have known better. Of course, none of this is a disaster, but I'd prefer for them to experience these issues when they're a little older and actually interested in them.