Beware...you never know what may be hidden with your flowers

My friend Tatiana sent me a beautiful box of flowers yesterday from ProFlowers.com. Each lovely purple sprig had its own individual watering case at the bottom. There was a beautiful light-green vase securely wrapped at the base so there was no chance of breakage. There was a little box of delicious chocolates, with a daisy bow around the box. And there was...

...a Bible tract.

That's right: a folded-up little treatise (written in cartoons, of all things) produced by LivingWaters.com, reminding me that there was still time for me to repent of my sins, accept Jesus Christ as my Personal Lord and Savior, and be forgiven so that I'm not sentenced by The Big Ghost in the Sky to burn forevermore deep in the bowels of the earth.

I thought it was pretty funny.

Tatiana did NOT think it was pretty funny. Tatiana is pissed.

I called up ProFlowers.com and asked them if it was standard practice to include these things with their flowers. No, it most certainly was NOT, the customer service rep said.

"The thing is," I said, "today is my 40th birthday. And while this isn't traumatizing or anything, pretty much the last thing I want to be reminded of is, you know, how little time I have left before I have to DIE."

She could understand that, she said. (She was a well-trained CSR.)

"It's just a good thing this isn't a 'get-well' bunch of flowers," I continued. "Imagine being in the hospital with some awful disease, and getting THIS."

She reacted with appropriate horror.

"So, I think you probably have some person working in your warehouse who needs to be stopped from doing this kind of thing," I said.

She agreed. "There's a chain of action that I can start here. I'm making a note in the file. What's your email address? You can call in a couple of days if you haven't heard anything."

I have a feeling Tatiana is going to call today and give them a rapid-fire Latina-accent-enhanced earful, too, just to drive in the point that something should be done.

Not that I'm usually the type of person who is out to get people fired, but I really think the person who did this needs to be canned, pronto.