
The experience of having one's children in the performance is unnervingly unlike not having one's children in the performance. I'm sure David, with his nerves of steel, doesn't experience it this way at all, but for me, it's almost like I'm up there with them. Ella, in the younger chorus, had a distractingly active girl standing next to her during the performance. Well, it was as if I was there with her, up there on the risers, as Ella thought to take hold of the little girl's hand discretely to prevent her from waving it around. I was experiencing what it was like for my six-year-old to have to focus so hard not to be distracted and sing and behave properly, and then summon that little bit of extra maturity to try to calm her neighbor without drawing extra attention.
I am having a hard time explaining what this is like without making it seem like I'm living through my kids in an unhealthy way. And I won't even try to explain how proud I was of them tonight, and how happy I am that they love to do this thing that is so GOOD for them.
Anyway, after their parts were done, then I could relax and enjoy the rest of the performance in a different way.
(Yes, of course I wept. As usual. Discretely.)
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